Online Dating Scams: Warning Signs and How to Protect Yourself
Fake profiles, "new friends" asking for money and emotional manipulation. The most common online dating scams, the warning signs and what to do if it happens to you.
Why do scammers choose dating apps?
People come to dating apps with an open heart: they want to connect with someone new, chat, maybe fall for someone. Scammers exploit exactly this openness. Their goal is usually money, personal information or account details; their method is to earn trust and then rush you.
This article isn't meant to make anyone suspicious. Most real people are well-meaning; knowing the signs below just helps you spot the exceptions early.
The most common types of scams
Methods change over time, but the basic patterns are similar. What they all share is that at some point you're asked for money, gift cards, cryptocurrency, personal documents or a verification code.
- Romance scam: someone who quickly expresses intense feelings but never meets or video calls asks for money for an "emergency" (hospital, customs, a ticket, a debt).
- Investment scam: a new acquaintance recommends a crypto or investment platform they say made them a lot of money and asks you to make a small start.
- Verification code trap: they ask for a code sent to your phone "to prove you're real"; that code is actually the login to another of your accounts.
- Sextortion: you're encouraged to share private photos or video, then threatened with their release unless you pay.
- Link/phishing: a link sent as "see my profile here" takes you to a fake page asking for card or password details.
Warning signs
No single sign is proof on its own, but when several come together it's time to be careful.
- Their photos look flawless, like a model's or a celebrity's catalogue shots, and the profile has almost no personal detail.
- They use intense phrases like "soulmate" or "I love you" very early.
- They keep postponing video calls; the camera is always broken or the connection always bad.
- They want to move the conversation quickly off the app to another messaging app.
- Their story is inconsistent: job, location or background change from one conversation to the next.
- At some point they ask for money, gift cards, crypto or documents, together with urgency and secrecy.
How to protect yourself
The most effective protection is never bending a few simple rules. They don't make a genuine relationship any harder; they only make a bad actor's job harder.
The first and most important rule: never send money to someone you met online and haven't met in person, however moving the story. Second, never share any verification code, password or photo of an ID document with anyone.
- Ask for a short video call; for an honest person this is no problem.
- Keep the conversation in the app, where reporting and blocking tools work.
- You can check their photos with a reverse image search; if they show up under other names, be careful.
- Don't rush into sharing private photos; once shared, you no longer control an image.
- Don't click unknown links and enter your details.
What to do if it happened to you
Being scammed is nothing to be ashamed of; these people do it professionally. What matters is acting fast.
First, stop the contact and don't keep sending money; the promise that "one last payment will fix everything" almost always signals a new demand. Then keep screenshots of the conversations and payment records. If you sent money, contact your bank right away. In case of blackmail, don't give in; that usually leads to more demands. You can report it to the relevant authorities in your country.
Use the tools in the app
Reporting a suspicious profile or message protects others too. On Hemdem you can report a message by long-pressing it, report a profile from its menu and block someone with one tap; a blocked person can't message you or see you in Discover. Reported accounts are reviewed.
On Hemdem you can also require strangers to solve a "gate test" you choose before they can reach you. It's a small but effective filter that makes life harder for accounts sending mass messages.
In short
A real connection takes time and doesn't require money. When haste, urgency, secrecy and a request for money come together, stop, think and talk to someone you trust. Keeping your rules keeps you safe without offending anyone.